At this point, I want to do everything except for school work. This past week, I've been using self-sabotaging outlets to cope with my stress. Whenever I fall into these phases, I feel hopeless and subconsciously like to bring everything down with me, even if some aspects of my life were going well and making progress.
Last night, I recorded another vlog (my third YouTube video with my face; wild to think about). This morning, I decided it would help me to start a blog. Don't most authors have them? Besides, it has always been a plan of mine.
So this is the first post. The first entry in my return to writing.
Now, it might not be the typical style of writing I'm used to. Not that I haven't journaled before. It's just, I'm a fiction writer. I write fantasy.
This, is real. Raw. Writing from the present, from my world.
I don't think many will follow along, and definitely not at this stage. But I've found that it has always been so much easier for me to put my feelings into words on paper than spoken aloud.
So let me list my goals, what this journey I hope will encompass:
I want to post about my books on my personal Instagram. I have a following of three hundred friends, acquaintances, and mutuals from various stages of my life. I currently fear the thought of exposing my (cringe-worthy romantic) hobby. I've wanted to do this so many times, but fear always keeps me from it. I don't want to seem attention-seeking. I don't want people to know me so personally, and I believe that all writing reveals a little bit about its creator.
I want to submit to every quarter of a writing contest I've been participating in for years now. I want to eventually win. I've gotten two honorable mentions before.
I am donating 100% of my profits to hospitals in Thailand that are in debt. Anyone following my Instagram will know that last year, I posted my commitment to donating all profits from my three books. This is not so much a goal, but a promise. This year, I want to work on my spirituality, and I believe that this is the greatest stance against my human greed, while also getting to help communities who need it.
I want to write one more novel. If not a novel, then something. I want to write something in my last year before graduating and turninig eighteen. I want to write something connected to my experiences as a teenager, perhaps turned fantasy. Perhaps more YA than any of my previous works. I want to write something of high quality, something beautiful and realistic that I will promote with all my heart and pride. I want to get it queried. I would love to have it traditionally published in the next few years, and if not, then my fourth self-published novel will do.
Most of all, I want to heal the scars 2023 left me. (It sounds dramatic, but there are still things I need to recover from.) I want to take control of my actions and be better. I made many goals, beginning 2024. The ones above are the writing-related ones I will focus on in this blog.
Yesterday, I began brainstorming my 2024 project. Today I plan to continue. Welcome to my journey :)
But I've come to realize that they are all interconnected, because of me. I am the one letting them continue to be struggles. I have tangled them up together in a knot. Healing one, I believe, will help heal the others. So follow this story using the page above (click the drop-down arrow to read my journals in order by month).
I will post the most significant ones in order on this main page.
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